COMPUTER MALPUNCTION

storytellings @ 2007-10-13T12:09:00

2007-10-13T19:10:38Z

FUCK this work policy of pretending you don't know karen filipelli.

storytellings @ 2007-03-20T11:42:00

2007-03-20T19:06:39Z

storytellings @ 2007-03-15T19:12:00

2007-03-16T02:12:49Z

does anyone have any good hangover cures?

and no, drinking more is not an option.

storytellings @ 2007-02-06T19:09:00

2007-02-07T03:12:58Z

Oh menstral cycle, where oh where has thou been? It's been a lonely couple of months without you, and I hate to admit it but your presence is severely missed! You see MC, all my friends see their monthly annoyance all the time, and I've started to feel a little down on my luck. According to your (absurdly overpriced) enemies behind the counter at Walgreens, I shant worry about a fetus developing in my uterus. I think you've noticed the insane amount of stress I've been going through ever since the end of summer, but c'mon girlfriend, Gimme a break! I knowwww i may have talked some smack on ya in the past, but I think it's high time we got together. Get your cute bloody butt on over here.

Now.

The Inferno.

2007-01-26T03:33:31Z

Yesterday was my first day back to school. After turning a beautiful shade of magenta from being recognized as "Gyro Girl," I naively entered what would forever be known as the most painful hour of my life.

Enter: Lit class, the sun blaring straight onto my long sleeved shirt and knee lengthed, fleece-lined boots. The professor, open mouthed and reaking of moth balls and brandy, reads straight from the 'how to' manual at the speed of an Godspeed epic. Sitting there, mind blown, I predict when he is going to rip the old person special effect mask and yell a hearty, "GOT CHA!" to the class. But no, this was no joke. I begin envisioning how hell could possibly be any worse off than this. I count the minutes pass between his pauses. After class let out, I begin to violently shake, something that has been happening on several occasions.

This semester will be great.

storytellings @ 2007-01-22T22:20:00

2007-01-23T06:23:18Z

storytellings @ 2007-01-15T19:33:00

2007-01-16T03:40:24Z

storytellings @ 2007-01-10T19:58:00

2007-01-11T03:55:41Z

storytellings @ 2007-01-05T22:57:00

2007-01-06T06:57:57Z

the last week of 2006 was

nice.

Home for the Holidaze.

2006-12-25T22:31:03Z

CLICK THE IMAGE!

2006-06-14T22:46:26Z

looks like someone i used to know...

2006-02-01T04:56:41Z

storytellings @ 2005-12-05T22:49:00

2005-12-06T06:48:34Z

I WILL SUE THIS ISLAND

storytellings @ 2005-10-18T19:37:00

2005-10-19T02:37:45Z

storytellings @ 2005-09-09T12:16:00

2005-09-08T19:17:41Z

"When a Woman throws aside her Modesty, Virtue drops a tear."

storytellings @ 2005-07-06T11:38:00

2005-07-06T18:41:23Z

AWGTHTGTTA?

2005-02-10T05:12:27Z

A/S/L Age/Sex/Location
AWGTHTGTTA Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again
BOHICA Bend Over Here It Comes Again
CRTLA Can't Remember the Three-Letter Acronym
CTC Choking The Chicken
ESO Equipment Smarter than Operator
GLYASDI God Loves You And So Do I
GYPO Get Your Pants Off
NIFOC Nude (naked) In Front Of The Computer
NYCFS New York City Finger Salute
OLL On-Line Love
POS Parent Over Shoulder
QT Cutie
RTBS Reason To Be Single
RUMORF Are You Male Or Female
SOHF Sense Of Humor Failure
SSEWBA Someday Soon, Everything Will Be Acronyms
TDTM Talk Dirty To Me

"Her daughter and the 35-year-old were so proficient at that cryptic language often spoken by cell phone text message users (r u there?) that they were having the affair right under the mother's nose."
{READ THIS.}